Posts Tagged 'connecting'

Holidays or Holidaze?

The holidays are once again upon us. Thanksgiving comes first at a nice pace, those early decorations start popping up, and then you hear that initial Christmas carol. But after that, things start ganging up on us: crowded stores, long lines, obligatory parties, gift exchanges, family gatherings, and overspending on an already anemic budget. This is where people start thinking, “Whoa, whoa, whoa” instead of ho, ho, ho.”

Avoid the mental maze of the “holidaze.” You can put the skids on those negative impulses; no shopping rage for you! Yes, Virginia, you can make your holidays more cheery and festive instead of chaotic and frustrating with a little bit of awareness and a lot of fortitude.

1. When you head for the mall, prepare yourself with a “reality bite.” There will be traffic, people, and few choice parking spots. There will be lines, too, but getting cranky about these inconveniences won’t thin the herd or make those lines move faster. Turn waiting time into rejuvenating time: smile, regroup, take a relaxing breath, imagine your favorite vacation spot, check your shopping list, visualize your next good meal, or do a few toe taps to renew your energy.

2. Restrain your gift buying. If you’ve been affected by the economy, instead of overextending, choose gifts that reflect thoughtfulness. Consider “gifts of self” for those you love involving “together time” instead of physical possessions. Price tags can’t be placed on gifts that include a personal dimension.

3. For workplace gifts, consider charity donations. If you exchange names at work, find out what charity your recipient most values and make a donation in their name. With this approach, everybody wins.

4. If you must deal with cranky customers at work, remember that this too shall pass. These irritating individuals may be grappling with grim circumstances. Be grateful you only serve them and don’t have to go home with them.

5. For family visits, put a soft lens on your heart so you can perceive your loved ones with compassion instead of criticism (if they haven’t changed by now they probably never will). Be grateful you don’t have to go home with them, either.

6. For the entire season, slow your pace when you drive, walk, and talk. Don’t get swept up in the rush; be an observer, not a participant. Smile more, breathe and relax, look for hopeful signs instead of hassles. Remember the words “good will to all.”

Simple Action: Keep reminding yourself that the holidays aren’t about presents; they’re about presence (yours). Wishing you peace and joy…Leslie

Lessons My Horse Taught Me

My childhood dream was to someday own a horse and it was a privilege to make that dream come true. I was a horse owner for thirty years and after hacking around for the first ten, I began pursuing the art of dressage. Here are a few of the many lessons I learned during those hundreds of hours in the saddle.

1. Just as with life, dressage is an exercise in continuous improvement. If you want to learn, enhance your skills, and enrich your existence, you have to focus on what you want and make a long-term commitment.

2. What feels “natural” isn’t always correct. For example, when leading a horse, if it rears up or jerks its head back, instead of following your instinct to pull, move toward the horse and then give the lead line a jerk. Use your brain to control the situation whenever you’re outweighed, outmuscled, or overwhelmed.

3. Ask for what you want in a way that it can be easily understood by the other party. This one needs no example.

4. Accept constructive feedback and adjust your behavior accordingly so you can be more effective. You may be tempted to condemn an unusual idea or get defensive when criticized, but instead, listen carefully, keep your mouth shut, and consider the merits of what’s being said.

5. We’re often inclined to take the easy way out, but in life as in riding, the most effective strategy is often the hardest one. Don’t cheat yourself. Suck it up and put forth whatever effort it takes so you can learn to do it right. Once you internalize the skill it’ll be yours for as long as you live.

6. We are all driven by our own agendas. Dressage is challenging and complex, and just as the rider needs to do what’s difficult, so does the horse, and sometimes the pair will be working at cross purposes. This also happens in personal and work relationships. Reread items 1 through 5 for inspiration on this one.

7. Instead of wishing for miracles, take the initiative; create your own. You can’t expect another person (or animal, or situation) to change for the better till you do.

Simple Action: While you might never find yourself on the back of a horse, every day you metaphorically ride out to meet your day. Which of these lessons I learned in the saddle most “speak” to you and how will you let them enrich your existence?


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Butterfly


Why a Butterfly?

A butterfly's life begins with an egg, which grows into a caterpillar, where it nourishes itself. Next is the chrysalis, the transformational stage where the caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Sometimes we go through stages where we need to rest or remain dormant in preparation for our next dramatic change.


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