Archive for the 'Inspiration' Category

Lessons My Horse Taught Me

My childhood dream was to someday own a horse and it was a privilege to make that dream come true. I was a horse owner for thirty years and after hacking around for the first ten, I began pursuing the art of dressage. Here are a few of the many lessons I learned during those hundreds of hours in the saddle.

1. Just as with life, dressage is an exercise in continuous improvement. If you want to learn, enhance your skills, and enrich your existence, you have to focus on what you want and make a long-term commitment.

2. What feels “natural” isn’t always correct. For example, when leading a horse, if it rears up or jerks its head back, instead of following your instinct to pull, move toward the horse and then give the lead line a jerk. Use your brain to control the situation whenever you’re outweighed, outmuscled, or overwhelmed.

3. Ask for what you want in a way that it can be easily understood by the other party. This one needs no example.

4. Accept constructive feedback and adjust your behavior accordingly so you can be more effective. You may be tempted to condemn an unusual idea or get defensive when criticized, but instead, listen carefully, keep your mouth shut, and consider the merits of what’s being said.

5. We’re often inclined to take the easy way out, but in life as in riding, the most effective strategy is often the hardest one. Don’t cheat yourself. Suck it up and put forth whatever effort it takes so you can learn to do it right. Once you internalize the skill it’ll be yours for as long as you live.

6. We are all driven by our own agendas. Dressage is challenging and complex, and just as the rider needs to do what’s difficult, so does the horse, and sometimes the pair will be working at cross purposes. This also happens in personal and work relationships. Reread items 1 through 5 for inspiration on this one.

7. Instead of wishing for miracles, take the initiative; create your own. You can’t expect another person (or animal, or situation) to change for the better till you do.

Simple Action: While you might never find yourself on the back of a horse, every day you metaphorically ride out to meet your day. Which of these lessons I learned in the saddle most “speak” to you and how will you let them enrich your existence?

Having a Sense of Humor Makes a Lot of Sense

In my speeches on stress I say, “Your sense of humor is your number one stress management tool,” and it’s true. Just as a tree needs to bend and sway when a fierce storm blows, we need to flex and loosen up when things get turbulent.

At first it seems counterintuitive to lighten up when we want to tighten up. But relaxing, smiling, and even laughing in the face of pressure releases pent-up emotions; it lets you take a breath and relieve the burden. And who’s the best person to laugh at? Yourself, of course. You’ll never run out of material!

Many people know about my practice of choosing an annual theme. I even make a poster for my wall and feature the themes at http://WhyIsEveryoneSoCranky.com. My annual themes guide and influence me, providing opportunities for growth and change. My 2010 them is Year of Finesse with the tag line Artful Living.

Well, in the parlance of be careful what you ask for, either 2010 is a debacle or I won the “opportunity” lotto. This year has sucked. I’ve temporarily changed my office poster to read “Year of Fine Mess” and “Awful Living” instead of the original. Not the most affirming message, but it makes me laugh.

You’ve had tough times, too, and sometimes it’s our warped sense of humor that gets us through. When you’re stuck in a pressure cooker, open up the steam vent; stand back and occasionally smile or laugh at yourself. That’s what I’ve been trying to do.

Remember that you are creative, competent, and most of all, capable of amazing resilience. Let your sense of humor keep you nimble when circumstances make you humble. In Bless Your Stress I state that “a bad day alive beats the heck out of a good day dead,” and this line tickles me. From affirmations to laffirmations, even when I hurt I’m grateful I can still fog a mirror!

William James said that common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds; that a sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. In the midst of heartache, I’ve been forcing myself to dance.

Simple Action: There will be times when you hurt so much it feels as if you’ll break in two, but your sense of humor will guide you to the other side of the storm. In the maelstrom, sway and bend, ease up, smile, laugh, and dance your way through the darkness. It’s called the breakthrough.


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  • It's not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. -Anonymous 23 hours ago

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Why a Butterfly?

A butterfly's life begins with an egg, which grows into a caterpillar, where it nourishes itself. Next is the chrysalis, the transformational stage where the caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Sometimes we go through stages where we need to rest or remain dormant in preparation for our next dramatic change.


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